Crazy Hawaiins

We walk in the door and in the front door walk two women wearing grass skirts? Then they shut the elevator door complelety uncourteously. Fucking pig roasting bastards.

M and me get home. We get into the elevator and there is the lady half of the couple from two doors down. At first I just think it's strange that she's coming in at 2am by herself considering she's getting married in a few weeks.. then I see the grass skirt around her neck.

"It's that time of day is it?" I say. Then her entourage rounds the corner. We just caught the tail end of a bachelorette party.

Apparently she checked off everything on "the card" excluding wearing a bra on the outside of her shirt. Most noteably, she got not one, but TWO condoms off random men at the bar. One was pink.

Oi vey.

Still going to school.

I see her in the hallway, rather well put together. On first glance if I was old and my standards were lower I may have dated her. BUT I KNOW WHAT LIES BARELY UNDERNEATH!

"So are you going to school?"

"Yes, I got 83 percent!"

"Good job!"

"I'm going to come work at YOUR office."

"Okay."

"Do you know who the HR uhm the person in uhhhh the HR person is?"

"No I don't really, it changes all the time."

"Okay, because I'll work FREE for two months. I need to do my practicum, that's eight months."

"Alright, good luck!"

There were some other mutterings on the way down, I wasn't really paying attention though.

Suprisingly enough, she hasn't been licking her lips this entire conversation and the sores on her face have healed up. Perhaps she kicked the meth? I'm sure I'll find out that she had some debilitating disease and feel terrible about this whole thing.

I wonder who buzzed me?

I'm walking into the elevator and I see her husband at the front door, buzzing to get up. I don't think anything of it.

I go upstairs and she's in a huff coming towards the elevator, frothing at the mouth.

"Someone buzzed me, I wonder who it is. I wonder if it's a suprise! I wonder who it is. I don't know who it is. Who is it?"

I mention to her that I think it's her husband, but she pays it no heed. Ten minutes later she's knocking on my door. I know it's probably her so I look through the peep hole. Sure enough she's sitting there with her hands on her hips, blowing spit bubbles.

I didn't have the energy to answer the door today. Next time I'll try to film it.

Rat man

I get out of my truck, and begin heading towards the back door. I glance up at the window that gives view to the foray. There is a short, lithe man barely 20 wearing a leather jacket, plaid lumberjack under the leather jacket, and unruly side burns giving him the appearance of a rat. I fumble with my keys looking for the outside key, but instead he opens the door and greets me.

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm fine." I reply, and attempt to continue on my way.

"I'm waiting for my friend... he has my car... I have a car you know." he replies.

Two days later I see him get on the bus.

Going to work?

The roommate has a run in with 602:

"So you two going to work?" the neighbor asks

Roomie not wanting to talk to her more than is necessary humors her and says:

"Yes, off to work, that's me"

Crazy lady replies, "NOT ME I'M GOING TO SCHOOL!"

The irony being that the roomie is clearly a student with a backpack and textbooks.

Actual photo of the crazy neighbor's car. About two minutes earlier I had gotten out of my girlfriend's car and observed the crazy neighbor sitting in the passenger seat, fully reclined, blowing spit bubbles at the ceiling of her car.

On a more positive note, she finally removed the spare tire from her back seat.